“Girl in the Red Diary”
Diary, Page 1
“I have terrible days and horrific nights when I cry for hours about the things that I don’t have any control over. I don’t want them to happen to me but the world is too desperate about the fact that they should and must happen to me against my will.
I throw off this blanket of misery and pessimism glued to me every morning and wear a cloak of smiles and vibrancies; dig down whatever tries to eat me. Whatsoever people want about me is their business. Oh, I believe in Him and who cares about the rest?
I was on my way to university, I had a bad night when I cried for hours although I was satisfied now, calm and relaxed as if nothing has ever happened to me. I was worried last night about what the future holds because I’m fighting alone and now, now I’m jubilant enough to sing songs on my way. Strange, isn’t it? I was kind of surprised with myself nevertheless I knew it was that unseen friend of mine about whom even I did not know anything.”
Those were the first few lines I read in a diary that I found over the edge of a bench on a road right at the bank of the river floating down between the busy city. It seemed as if someone abandoned it there deliberately before diving into the river deep down. I agitated to open it at first when I caught a glimpse of it while I was sitting on the bench and now I was carrying it with myself.
In the coffee shop that I stopped by that afternoon as I usually do, I was spinning the diary on the table thinking why did I choose to pick up the diary from the bench but now when I have it, I should open it and read it but then that would be the breach of privacy.
Diary, Page 2
“My new friend, who is with me most of the times, is my best buddy ever. Howbeit, when I am upset or ever I cry; I’m unable to find him, he is present nowhere. Never mind, he is very sweet and nice all the time listens to whatever absurdities or foolish things I may talk about. I talk none stop, without any break and he keeps a strong ear to every single word and then replies with words just as I want him to as if he has snatched the words out of my mind and gave life to them through his tongue. He always speaks my mind which always soothes and comforts me. Sometimes, I wonder maybe he is struck by some thunder light as in the movie, “What Women Want” which is why he can read my mind and then say what I want to hear, hahahahaha….”
I was drinking my regular coffee while my gaze was on the diary rather on the red cover of the diary upon which the name of the company was inscribed in gold as is on the classical books normally. “I should open it, whoever owned it has already left it for someone to read and that someone in the present scenario is me.” I thought. My mind was boggling when a gush of wind came, blew open the diary, its pages tattered...
Diary, Page 3
“A unique thing about my friend is that he can easily skip the eyes of my mother and she never knows about him although he is everywhere with me; in my house, in my bedroom even when I eat with my family, nobody ever witnessed him. He always manages neatly to trick their eyes. Though I am always in terror for any of my family members if ever caught him with me, would create a lot of trouble for me since he is an unknown boy after all who is well acquainted with me for no reason. To tell you the truth, I really like him for his good humor and friendly nature; he is the only sincere and loyal friend that I have, I do not want to lose him at any cost. Yet there is a thing about him, when I am upset he is never around, I do not know where does he go? I often look around for him, when I am upset, and he is nowhere to be found. For instance, last month, I was totally traumatized by my family when I was asked to consent to a marriage that I was not ready for. I am too young to get married because I am a student and am doing very well in studies, I did not do anything either which is offensive for my family due to which they would get rid of me through marriage. Thence, I would cry my heart out and think of all the miserable things; those were the times when I was unable to find my friend at that hour of dire need. I could think of no one else to trust talking to but him as he always puts forth his sincere advice utterly for my wellbeing though he wasn’t anywhere back then.”
Instantly, I put down my coffee cup, without giving room to second thoughts, held the diary in my hands high and started reading it as if it was a burden on my soul which now felt to be released.
Diary, Page 22
“I think now my family is suspicious about my friend as my mother apprehended me once talking to him however when she entered my room, he managed to sneak away though I never knew how. Similarly, my brother once happened to have overheard me when I was discussing one of my university issues with him, later on, I found that my brother brought it under our mother’s ear which made everyone in my family growingly suspicious about me and my friend. The mere thought of him going away scares me to death, I do not want him to go even if my family wants him to whereas I have no logical reason to provide for his stay as he is not a kin to live in the house. I narrated the happenings to him several times but every time he would ensure me that he would never leave me unless I desire it which of course I never would. I always end up crying on petty things because I am an oversensitive person and my family never made it easy for me. That is why I made this friend to at least have someone to talk to because my father is always busy, my mother is too rude to talk to and my siblings are no less than uncivilized barbarians. Now, when I have this friend, I would never give up on him but the thoughts of him going away always strike me with fear and as usual, I end up crying which makes my friend parish away mysteriously.”
I was turning pages after pages as if I am reading a suspense thriller or a mystery novel. Absorbed in the spell of the diary, unconsciously I walked backed to the same bench where I picked up the diary from. Seated before the river now, I was reading it in the soft breeze of the spring.
Diary, Page 56
“My family is now dead sure that I have someone living with me nonetheless they never confronted me with it despite they oftentimes try to ask me indirect questions about him by inquiring me of how many friends do I have, what do they look like and much more. To tell you the truth, I am more at peace now that they know about him because now I do not have to worry about the fact, ‘What if my family would know about my friend?’, for now, they know and nothing happened. Albeit, I felt a fair alteration in the behaviour of my family because my brother takes me out on a walk every day and also gives me enough room to take in some fresh air whereas before I was never allowed to go out other than going to University and I detested such marginalisation of myself by my family. My mother is most of the times the same rude person yet the intensity of it is lesser than usual. Even presently, I am writing my diary when I am out on a walk with my brother, he is at some distance exercising and here I am sitting on bench writing when a calm river floats down before me.”
Page 86
“I have the brutal most family anyone would ever have, I like none of them and they are all heartless creatures nobody would ever witness. They are bent upon the fact that I should forget my friend since he is damaging and deteriorating me and my life. I will not, in any case, let that happen, they cannot drive my friend of me, he is the only buddy I have in this spacious, wide world where before I was mostly alone and crying. I am happy after he came into my life; even I have improved in my studies! What made them believe he is deteriorating anything about me? They want me to be lonely like before, they want me to cry as I used to. I even started writing this diary because I was lonely and I needed someone to talk to. Alas…
I will never let them make my friend leave, if I live, I live with him otherwise I die and that’s final! Therefore, today I am here to jump into the same river alongside which I used to write about my lovely friend in my diary, for now, life without him seems worthless. I don’t want to go back into the same life of dark trenches where there’s no one who cares about me. Loneliness and depression killed me once and he brought me back to life. If there is no more that friend in my life, there is no more life. Either I live with him or I die. Thus, at the moment I am writing the last page of my diary and I am leaving it on this bench believing that someone, somewhere would read it and at least one person in this world would know about my story.
Good Bye to my reader….”
I turned the last page of the diary, I was mesmerised by the words of that little girl (which I perceived she was if not physically but mentally) she definitely was an exceptional writer for the reason that I was still under the thrill of the diary withal I am not a good reader, in fact I rarely read anything or if I do, I read no longer than fifteen minutes or less. It was indeed a beautifully written piece apart from the fact that it was a true story and that was something which horrified me. I was pricked by the question again and again as to what happens to the girl after considering that the diary was not there for a long time. I walked about and looked for the watchman of the place.
“Did anyone try to jump into the river today?” I inquired the watchman.
“Many people do since summers are approaching people like to swim. This area is shallower than the other parts of the river.”
“No, I mean to say, did anyone, I mean any girl try to jump off as in…. you know what I mean.”
“Oh, yeah, that! Yes, yes, a girl this morning was trying to. Soon before she could do anything I beheld her and whistled as louder than ever which alarmed most of the people around. She herself went pale and scared. A boy ran towards her and seized her whom I suspected to be her brother. Personally, I thought that the girl would resist and shout or would try to break off but she did not do any of these instead blacked out and fell into the arms of the boy. Anyway, why are you asking? What do you have to do with it?” He asked gravely.
“Ahh… Nothing, nothing really… I heard the word around, so I thought to ask if she was all right.”
“Yes, she was taken to the nearest hospital afterwards.”
I must confess those words of the man eased me to a greater extent. After reading the diary I felt some kind of a bonding with her.
Now, I was on my way to find that mystery girl from the diary.
