S - E - X – Y

S - E - X – Y

“You are not S-E-X-Y.”, he said by spelling the alphabets, not pronouncing the word. Every alphabet is echoing in her ears now individually with all the pressure. It’s already 2 am in the morning but these words and thoughts won’t let her sleep. She grew up with this complexity inside her; it grew with her as she was growing. It was a complex she was hiding inside and anyone if ever touched that, would erupt like a volcano and burn her like a dry autumn leaf. She was always told she’s not pretty, now at her senior year she heard it most often, people around reminding her of not being sexy or eye-catching for any guy.

She shut the door of her thoughts commanding her mind she is not a guy questing girl rather a rebel, fighting for dreams. She closed her eyes…..

It was a beautiful day, sunny though the clouds would ramble on and off blocking the sun. They were on their way home after school with their mother. She bought them the new flavor chewing gum of which they were making bubbles. She was 12 years old and her sister two years older. They met their neighbor Mrs. Gold on their way. “Is she your younger daughter? Oh! She’s not pretty at all! Doesn’t she eat anything?” , exclaimed Mrs. Gold.  Her mother turned her half embarrassed and half angry gaze at her daughter. Mother was sick of people telling her that her younger daughter is ugly and she’s too skinny as if dried by the heat of India in June.

She was suddenly up in her bed by the childhood memory. It was 3:15 am now. She picked up her phone; she was sure he’d still be up and phoned him. “Hello! I give a damn about not being SEXY” , she preferred to say the word than the alphabets. “I am not some movie star to be perfect looking, I don’t have the breasts of Nicki Minaj or the ass like Kim Kardashian or could look sandy hot in pictures like Naomi Campbell for I am more of an ordinary lass struggling for myself and working my ass out to realize my dreams. I know you can’t handle a strong head, determined girl like me so stop throwing your shit over me! Do you have greasy smooth muscles of David Beckham or the charm like Daniel Craig or at least, at least the action of Jackie Chan?” She paused for a moment to breathe. “Here, tell me do you have anything productive in your mind other than thinking about girls, girlfriends, how hot or sexy she is or isn’t? Do you have any future plans apart from getting married and eating up what your father has earned? I am way better than you for I am what is beyond sex, sexy or marriage. I have a dream to save the starving creatures of the miserable world and snatch for them the excessive wealth you have which certainly you don’t deserve.”

She banged the phone and went to bed with teary eyes and trembling hands still thinking about not being sexy.